Crying in silence was a habit she had picked up too, also because no one would hear her anyway: loneliness was a horrible monster to fight, but now those memories seemed so far that she wished she could simply close them all in a box and put it away somewhere, as if they had never existed. Things had changed and she was thankful for it, even if they both had a long way to reach complete happiness: dangers were still present, both around them and inside of their mind, but they both had a new ally now. They had each other. “You’re welcome!”, she chirped happily. For once she would allow him to thank her, also because it actually looked like he was appreciating what she cooked - which meant that maybe she wasn’t such a horrible cook as she thought, at least with such simple food. Once her plate was empty she threw a look at the bowls on the table. There was still some food left, but she was full and she didn’t think Koichi wanted to eat more either. “If you want, I have some ice cream… even if it’s still a little cold outside”. She knew that Koichi couldn’t stay there with her for the whole evening, but this was already more than enough to her: having company for almost the whole day felt great, especially because it was him. “The next time you’re coming here I promise I will bake some cookies!”. Provided that she didn’t burn them, sure.
It felt similar to him. He could pick all those memories and lock them away, but it wasn’t exactly what he wanted. He would do it sometimes, when he wanted to be happy, but for him forgetting was terrifying. He wanted to remember every little thing he had gone through to learn from it. Both of them now had new allies in each other and this alone was incredible, but things were far from being perfect. It would be enough to have a small room for them to be happy once in a while, or so he thought for now. Koichi didn’t think of her as a bad cook. Okay, he had had better, but it wasn’t horrible anyhow and it somehow tasted better knowing who prepared it. He thought for a second about getting himself a second round but his stomach didn’t accept anything else. He still finished his food in the best way he could. “Eh?… No, thanks.” he smiled a little. Why did she keep ice cream? Not that it was any of his business. Maybe he could stay for a little more but then he remembered he had work the following day. "You don’t have to, but it’ll be nice if you do." he replied. "Maybe we could bake cookies together." he shrugged. It would be a little strange, but why not? It could be fun. Then, he let out a sigh and got up. "…I have to go. I have work tomorrow and I’m still not used to having a schedule and all again so I have to go to sleep early…" he explained. In a way, he didn’t want to go yet.
More or less like him, Daken had always tried to isolate herself from the rest of the world because she was afraid of getting hurt, as it often happened in the past: she had always been alone, so she couldn’t count on anyone to be reassured or simply to have a hug or a nice word. Now that she had Koichi, she could allow herself to be a little needy: asking for a caress, or for a kiss, was her way to reassure herself that he was there and that he wouldn’t go away. So why shouldn’t he do the same? it was like an exchange, and it would bring advantages for the both of them. Both would win, no one would lose. He should understand that he could profit by it too. It would always feel weird to hear him speak about his alters, even if it was just a mention like that, but she would get slowly used to it… sooner or later. She owed it to him. She was happy to see that she had finally managed to make him smile, so she considered that matter to be closed and sat down in front of him, taking the bowl of salad to pour some in her own plate. “Yes… Eat though, okay? There’s enough for the both of us, so eat enough and don’t starve here”. She winked, laughed and proceeded to repeat the same actions with the plate of meat and the bowl of rice. She wasn’t much of a great cook, but it looked quite edible anyway.
He had been afraid of getting hurt, but he had also been afraid to show weakness. He had been told not by anyone in his family, that he couldn’t afford to be weak, that he wasn’t supposed to be like that, that if he showed fear or sadness he wasn’t good enough for anyone. So he cried in silence, only when nobody saw, when nobody knew, and then felt guilty. Bad habits weren’t so easy to get rid of, specially now that he had found a way to be strong, but only in battles. For him it would always be giving, not receiving. Some day, he would change that. And Daken was helping more than she thought. He was specially self-conscious about everything that made him different, and his mind didn’t make it any easier by being split. For now, though, he had to forget about it unless he wanted to risk a problem from coming out. Maybe she wasn’t a great cook, but the food smelled delicious to him. “I’m not going to starve, don’t worry.” he replied, still keeping a hint of a smile and grabbing the plates in order to serve himself. He had put more or less the same quantity as her, and there still was some of everything left. Just in case. "Thank you for everything." it seemed thanking her was going to become a habit, but he calmly started eating afterwards.
”Being alive isn’t always a good thing.” Demian said casually, the situation amusing him slightly.
He raised an eyebrow at the quick change of moods, one second the other seemed like he cannot stand to be around him and then he was asking to stay. ”What a strange creature you are.” He murmured before shrugging.
”Do whatever you want.”
"Said the dead guy." he simply replied. He was almost certain he preferred to be alive. Not everyone got to be a ghost… or whatever. He didn’t care. "Me? Weird? The word you’re looking for is bored. You’re the most entertaining thing I’ve ran into in all day even if you’re a pain in the ass." at least the other allowed him to keep following around. He really was curious to see what the other wanted to do in such a place. Still, the frown in his face seemed to be permanent.
I’ve been wanting to take out the green tips for years and swap them for a single green mark. Since I still can’t because that’d render all my RP icons useless and screw up most of my ongoing RPs, I just tried the idea.
I promised I’d post the next painting no matter what so here it is.
((Even if it doesn’t fit the verse this is my icon now))
She giggled at his reaction to her compliments but decided not to tease him since she didn’t want him to get angry again. “Well, if one of my brother’s men catch up to u, feel free to do whatever you want with them,” She said with a smile. “So, we’re looking for your portal right? Do you remember anything about the place where you last saw it?”
"That’s a promise." he remarked. For sure, if anyone came there with bad intentions he wouldn’t hold back, simply because he was that violent. He rubbed the top of his head, still feeling a little odd because of the compliments he had earned. "Ah… it was a narrow street. I didn’t notice because the two streets looked kinda similar and I wasn’t paying attention to portals. It’s not that easy to spot them unless you’re consciously looking for ‘em."
But was it such a guilt to feel the need to be reassured from time to time? Daken didn’t consider it a negative thing. And trying to make him understand that she was close to him was the only way she had to help him, since she couldn’t physically protect him like he did with her. Koichi had to get used to it, because for sure she wasn’t going to stop. If a hug or a smile was the only thing she could give him, she would give it to him, also because she wasn’t very good with words. But at least she had managed to tell the truth without making it sound too confusing or complex. “I’m not saying you have to do something about it…”, she reassured him with a smile, prifitting by the fact that for once she was taller than him to ruffle his hair. It was weird to stand behind him while he was sitting, she felt very tall. “It’s okay, really. I will learn how to… deal with it. And you’re the one who has to live with it, it’s much more complicated for you than for me”. She let go of him and walked back next to the stove, still smiling to make him understand that she didn’t really consider all of that as a negative thing. “But at least I’ll be with you! I will do my best to help you, i promise, starting from…”. She turned back and raised a plate full of rice in one hand and a bowl of salad in the other. “…cooking dinner! Rice, meat and salad. Eat, okay?”. She put all the plates on the table and sat in front of him. She just wanted to make him smile, nothing more.
For him it was a sign of weakness. He had always had the impression that he should be selfless, and he was slowly trying to learn that it couldn’t be the case for him or for anyone. This didn’t mean he still wanted to be needy, Daken didn’t deserve to always have to help him when he felt bad. In any case, any small thing she would give would always make him feel better. "There’s nothing I can do aside from giving tips to the rest." he said. It escaped his control and if he couldn’t control himself he had no hopes to hold back the rest. He felt odd that for once she was the one able to ruffle his hair without effort, but pulled a smile out of him. "It’s still hard for you because it’s really weird so… I’ll try to make it as easier as I possibly can for both of us." that wasn’t exactly a promise, but he could try. He knew it wasn’t a positive thing for anyone knowing him, that it only made things confusing, but he really couldn’t do anything and he couldn’t ask them to suppress their individuality. That could trigger an awful response. If she wanted him to smile, she got it. When she put the plates in front of them with that smile, he couldn’t help lifting the corners of his mouth a little. "Sorry about all that. Let’s just forget about it and eat."
Silphey watched, her expression one of pure awe and excitement. “That is so amazing!” She said with a bright smile. “You’re so cool, Heikichi!” She added happily as she continued to smile up at him. He had at least made her forgot about her current predicament, if only for a short time.
He wasn’t used to compliments or to people thinking his powers were cool, so he just stood there, finding himself feeling a little awkward. "Er… thanks. Find me a guy to fry and you’ll see my power full instead of tiny things." he had to admit that he used telekinesis in his daily life too… but in any case, the scary boy was now half-pouting and looking to a side.
A sigh. She couldn’t believe she’d wasted all that mushy friendship stuff on him when he didn’t even seem to be paying attention. “Never mind,” she insisted with a wave of her hand. “Forget I said anything.” It’d be for the best, for both of them. All that stuff was pretty embarrassing to begin with. She just shrugged it aside and continued with their other topics, one which had seemed to entertain him greatly.
Honestly, that was the only reason she was entertaining the topic. Because he seemed to enjoy it. If it kept that smug grin, as much as she wanted to wipe it off, on his face then it was fine by her. “Geez, no. Can you imagine? I’d go to do this epic dance move that would probably look really cool if someone else did it and then BAM! I’d be flat on the face with all that preppy music playing in the background. It’d be so humiliating. But with you on the sidelines watching or just watching me dance in general? You’d never let me live it down!” She paused to drag her hands down her face, attempting to rub away the embarrassment. “And yes. Yes it was.”
She snorted and gave an unbelieving roll of her eyes. “What are you talking about? That’s a blatant lie. You already called me an ‘old fart’. That’s about as judgey as it gets!” But she let it slide, shifting against the rows of books. “That’s because I am a kid. Forever fifteen as I like to call it.” A laugh slipped past her lips and she took the jest with modesty. “Nineteen? Jeez! You’re one of the lucky ones. And yeah, well, I’m old school, Kid. Old customs just stick.” Though, she’d long since forgotten a lot of the customs her mother valued.
Friendship was a touchy topic for the infernal. His trust problems usually rendered him unable to made friends that other parts of himself hadn’t made before him. Not that he minded; he wasn’t completely alone after all. Still, being nicer to Ice wouldn’t kill him, but he yet had to understand this. "…Right." he mumbled. Forget what she said. Now that was a weird claim, not that he was going to say anything about it.
If he knew she was only letting him go on with that topic just to see him grin like an idiot, he would have thrown an angry fit. Thankfully for her, he wasn’t smart enough to figure this out. “Heh heh, it’d still be a good sight even if you broke your nose in the process.” he commented. “And I’m fine watching it either way, ‘cause you’re not gonna do it anyhow.” he folded his arms, still half-smiling but it seemed that he had stopped finding the idea amusing. Mostly because it was a dream that would never be fulfilled.
"Hey, you are old, there’s no undoing that. What I’m not judging is what you can or can’t do with your age." sometimes he seemed to suddenly grow way more witty. It was momentary, though. “Ah… I get it. Stuck with the same age, that’s a funny thing to happen.” he wouldn’t mind to always be nineteen, but looking forever underaged probably had its drags. “Lucky ones why? Cause I’m already taller than you?” he teased. “Yeah, sure, when you were a kid they still had that kind of crap… deal with the new things, girl. You already did a good job by adapting to videogames existing.” he decided to simply start looking around in the house, with a hand in one of the pockets of his hoodie.
frostxflower's +100 follow forever
It hasn’t been a year yet and I am honestly so surprised I gained so many new friends and followers so quickly. Everyone has made me feel so welcome and accepted and I honestly can’t thank you all enough! I’ve definitely grown more confident in my work even though my vocabulary seems to be diminishing. Still! I want to acknowledge those of you who are just really big inspirations to me and who’ve just been there for me as friends~
If you’re not on here, it’s nothing personal! We just haven’t interacted/talked. I still love you though~Snowflakes; aka The BaesSnowballs; aka Inspirations
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((-actually screaming omg-))
He still felt bad about making her be careful around him. She had her own topics she didn’t want to come across but they were perfectly logical! They were personal and painful, he was just a whiny one that didn’t like to be reminded that he hated himself for many things. He simply had to grow a pair, as people always said and stuck with that kind of comments until he learned to deal with them. The solution was simple, yet why was it so hard? He forced himself to stop thinking about it when Daken asked him about something else. “They probably are. I’ve… changed a lot in these last years and they’re happy about this next step, I guess.” that was something they had always been concerned with: the fact that they weren’t able to help him deal with how different he was. In a way, he had always known he didn’t fit and this made him bitter. Now he was more grateful for everything good he ever had. He wanted to help others, with Daken as the new top of the list. And he’d do anything for her without doubting it. That was probably why Heikichi was also afraid. What if she tried to profit by him? It wouldn’t happen, because he trusted her, but he understood he asked himself that question. "Really, he’ll understand… sorry about making you… you know, deal with him. I bet you’d have preferred your boyfriend to be a little more normal." sometimes he couldn’t help to think like that about his identities. They helped… but sometimes they messed up his life even more. He couldn’t blame them.
She could try to imagine how much he had changed in these last years, so it was easy to picture how happy his parents were now that he was slowly raising his head again and stepping ahead. Having new friends and even a girlfriend was a great achievement for him, it meant that he was leaving the past behind, little by little; he would never manage to completely forget about it, of course, but he could bury those bad memories under a pile of happiness. He would always be different from the others, and not only because he wasn’t a human; but he would also learn to accept it and to treasure this difference. When he apologized in that way, though, Daken dropped everything she was doing and walked behind his chair to hug him from there. “It’s okay”, she reassured him in a low voice. “I like how you are and I’m ready to accept everything as long as you can stay with me. Of course… o-of course it’s… a little difficult”. She took a breath, but she wanted to be sincere with him: no lies between them, no secrets. He had the right to know everything she thought about him. “I would prefer to hug you without fearing to see your eyes suddenly change their colour. I would prefer to call you without wondering if the one to reply is you or Heikichi. But… This is who you are, so it’s fine. It’s not… your fault”. But could she really speak of a ‘fault’? There was a reason why his alters were there, it wasn’t simply a negative thing. But she still needed some time to accept it completely.
It had been five crazy years, and now he couldn’t imagine himself living the way he did before anymore. He had to face it: he had changed, maybe even for the better and he would help Daken to make this change too. Unlike him, she had just started. They both could start over, finding happiness together, but without renouncing to the past that made them the way the currently are. It didn’t even matter that they weren’t human… they would find their place. When she walked behind him only to reassure him, he felt a little guilty. He didn’t have the right to always be reassured, constantly, just because he was insecure. Another thing in his long list of changes. “…I suppose it’s difficult.” he mumbled. The fact that the girl had expressed what she thought of it was already a big step, but what could he do about it? He couldn’t get rid of his alters, he couldn’t live without them either. “At least I can promise I’ll always warn you if I think I’m going to switch and… there’s not much I can do about the phone aside from saying who you’re speaking with out loud. Sorry.” he used to think it was his fault because he was too weak, but after some time and the research of his friends and him he had learned it wasn’t like that at all. Still, it wasn’t fair that it happened to him, but there was no turning back. "Thank you, Daken… I know this is complicated for you to swallow." he told her, smiling gratefully.